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(Funny) How much would you charge for sex?

August 9, 2016

At some point, most people have thought about how much they would charge for sex. True, it depends on so many things, different variables like what position, how long is the session, man or woman, oral…
So I decided to ask a handful of my friends and here is what they said

How much would you charge for sex?

The following names are all alias names

Eden (me): £15,000 per minute. 3 minute minimum and 5 minute maximum. Lez, Straight, Queer, Trans are welcome. Anything goes… You must pay for all costs including room, transport and refreshments. Kissing £1500 extra.

Ginger: €5000/hour. If I were to have sex with men, it would have to be BDSM like I’d tie them up and stuff like that. They’d be my bitch! No kissing or them touching me. And for women, I’d let them kiss me. 30-40 minutes should be enough

Scott: £50 for 30-60 minutes. I’m cheap. Gay men only. Safe sex and no kissing allowed

No Terms Evans: €60 / hour for women. I could specialise in being a women’s sex slave… take punishment as do as she pleases for one hour. Men €200 because it’s not so fun! No hits in the face and strap on welcome.

Conqueror: It would be free of charge. No men.

Celina (my friend’s alias name, lol): £250,000 No pictures, hotel room required. No overnight stay.

Antman: “Selling myself” is an expression I don’t like. I’m selling my time for a service, not myself. If I like the person, no fee. Somebody so-so, €100/hour. Somebody ugly who’ll be tough work, €500 per hour. A man… I don’t think I could do that. It’ll have to be enough to retire from work for a lifetime.

Raven: £300. Men only, no anal. Safe sex only with condom and 2 hour time limit. If he’s ugly double

Cleo: $20,000 for men. $50,000 for lesbian girlfriend experience. Price per night

Mr Brightside: €200/30 minutes No anal. Women only. Drinks not included. I should control. Not fat. Not old. Uglies and fats would be higher.

Victoria: €200/hour. €50 extra for anal only if the guy is not too well endowed. Drinks and hotel required. €600 for overnight stay

Two Pump Chump: I’d love to charge a few million per two pumps and have females between the ages of 22-35 years old.

Naomi: I probably would charge £3000 per 30-60 minute and £5000 for anal

Biggie: €250 per session (time varies depending on customer, min time 1 hour and max time is 1 night), no men and no trannies, no drinks included but other fun stuff is. Discounts if woman is into some fetishes and a higher price for other undesireable fetishes.

Rachel: £2k. 30 mins. No kissing. No oral. No anal. Safe


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My solo festival experience at Summerjam

July 4, 2016

My festival buddy pulled out at the last minute due to a sudden death in his family. 
I really considered not going because the idea of going to huge festival alone is a bit daunting. I’ve done it before spontaneously while travelling but never planned. These things are definitely better with friends.
Anyway – I went to the festival alone (but was never alone) 
Although I knew I had friends scattered around (some of who I didn’t even see) I did get a little paranoid that people were looking at me wondering why I’m alone. They probably think I’m a crazy girl! In fact someone even asked me if I’m a gangster girl. After considering this I’ve decided that I could be. 
The flight from London was 1hr late because we had to change planes due to an engine failure. When we landed I couldn’t be bothered to wait any longer so I took a taxi to the festival. That cost €55. I also bought 3 bottles of Jaegermeister and champagne along with brown bread, sun dried tomatoes and hummus to last throughout. And it did.  
Mala the Rasta was the first person I met. He obviously could see I was in need of something because I was looking around. I needed a tent! (My friend who I was due to go with was going to bring it / I heard I could buy one in the festival). My friend who was also there had a tent but hooked up so she preferred for her hook up to share. She told me via text when I got to the festival! Whatever. I didn’t even bump into her once. Funny thing, it turns out that Mala the Rasta needed a tent too. He’d already arranged to buy an already pitched up tent and said I could share. So I did. I hate pitching tents, I’ve never actually personally done it but it looks long. From being alone, having no tent to being with company and having a tent. This was within 5minutes of arriving. 
Some of you are probably thinking that I trust people too easily. I do. I 100% felt comfortable after having a minutes conversation with Mala. What’s the point of being alone for no reason. Plus he helped me out! The tent was in the best location as Summerjam is HUGE and camping goes on for miles. So I had a great stroke of luck! 
…until I was told that it was a stolen tent from the other side of the festival. That was my last night in that tent…
I spent the first night with Mala and even though I occasionally bumped into people I knew I didn’t stray from him. He’s the most gentle human ever and a great dancer. He didn’t even try to hit on me. But I did something bad. I got him drunk and smoked all his weed. Ordinarily that wouldn’t be an issue. I wouldn’t feel bad if it wasn’t for the fact that he (nearly 30) had never drank alcohol in his life due to his religion and I persuaded him to drink half a bottle of Jaegermeister

The next morning changed my vibe up an it just got better. I became friends with my camping neighbours in the morning. They were totally cool, all 8 of them! And from London too so there was an instant connection. They filled me in about the tent thieves/hustle and told me that they had a free tent with an air bed and I could have it alone. Sweet, I took it. As it was only a few tents down Mala and I remained neighbours though i went alone. Another stroke of awesome luck. From thereon I spent the festival with this big group which included a female reggae singer! Awesome! 

Festivals alone, but never alone… 

Summerjam festival itself was a blast. A few reggae heads didn’t like it and said that it could have been better. True, it rained a lot but I thought it was great. Hats and jackets exist for a reason. I am very loyal to festivals, I definitely make the most of my time and TURN UP. 

Turning all the way up is my specialty. I love it. Dancing on the stage or on the table is my favourite hobby. For some reason I need to be high up. What’s funny is I’m not the best dancer! I am not a competing dancehall queen. But who cares..

Other things that happened:

– I kissed a German girl 

– I kissed an English guy 

– (Not at the same time) 

– I spent about €150 for the 3 days 

– A creep whispered in my ear ‘whatever happens in Summerjam stays in Summerjam’ i still don’t know who that was but they had a scary voice

– I introduced myself as Sky, not Celina. I’ve wanted to start doing it for a while. I like it. It felt right.

Doubts – I did question myself. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too free. Financially free, free time, sexually free, mentally free. I started to wonder if this is why I’m still single. 

I automatically judge that people can’t handle me and my ways. I even started to question the word; Stable. I’m comfortable like this, but it doesn’t seem normal. Here is the mind fuck, because I think I’m wry normal. My thoughts and actions are my own. No fear. Should there be a balance? Or is that the weed making me think too much. (Why I never smoke unless I’m at a festival, I hate overthinking)

I really enjoyed myself. Going to festivals alone is awesome! It’s not first choice but it definitely wouldn’t discourage me. It shouldn’t discourage you. Solo travellers, do your thing. Intergrating is easy. If any readers wanna share my tent at the next festival let me know!

Here are some pics:    



Basic Bitches

June 28, 2016

Officially, this is the first and last post I will write about Basic Bitches. I will never waste my time getting to know one because I now understand the signs.

What is a basic bitch?

This is the best definition:

Someone who is unflinchingly upholding of the status quo and stereotypes of their gender without even realizing it. She engages in typical, unoriginal behaviors, modes of dress, speech, and likes. She is tragically/laughably unaware of her utter lack of specialness and intrigue. She believers herself to be unique, fly, amazing, and a complete catch, when really she is boring, painfully normal, and par. She believes her experiences to be crazy, wild, and different or somehow more special than everything that everybody else is doing, when really, almost everyone is doing or has done the exact same thing. She is typical and a dime a dozen.


a bum-ass woman who think she the shit but really ain’t

So… what happened?

I was freaked out by one. I never learn! She gave a fake illusion that she was a Bad Bitch on the first date. We made it to 3 date then the basicness came out.

1st date was ok, nothing special tho.

2nd date was great, but I now blame the cool environment and the alcohol.

3rd date was awful. So awful my body could sence the bad vibe and >my nose bled<

She could be summed up like this:

Depressive, basic, annoying, cautious, weary, slow, boring, tamed…


Finally we argued about… I can’t even remember what! But it was a good thing because it saved time. Basic Bitches suit basic people and will have basic children

My friends say:

S – you’ll get bored soon

R – you need to kiss a hot bitch ASAP

F – next

Warning: If you ever meet a Bad Bitch TEST HER ASAP. Say random mad shit to see if she reacts. Dont waste your time on Basic Bitches. They will not lift you up. AT ALL! Plentyyyyyyyyy more options out there.



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Yes, but no, I’m not the CEO of successful company. I’m a beach bum

June 19, 2016

If there is one question I hate, it is this:

What do you do?

Should it really matter what I do? I don’t care about what you do… I never ask.
The question indicates that I need validation. If what I do is satisfactory to the person asking, then I get given the green light. If not.. well forever be judged.

Have you realised that most answers are variations of the same damn thing? Besides… who cares if you’re a student, accountant or CEO of whatever. Yay

This type of conversation starter is the most simplest open-ended question. The receiver has an auto response and… the conversation continues. Risk free and comfortable. That’s probably why 99% of the population ask it.

My typical first conversation goes like this:

So… What do you do?

– I cycle / play guitar / travel / chill on the beach / chill anywhere / sail / snorkle / hike.. And you?

As I start to list what I do my questioner starts to look slightly displeased with my answer. Sadly I know that you’re trying to ask me one of the following questions:

How much do you earn? Where do you work? What financial position are you in?
Are you richer than me? Is my status higher? ARE YOU WORTH MY TIME?

I do this all the time. And continue without revealing my title. Eventually the questioner begins to tell me about their passions and hobbies.

It erks me when people ask me this. And everyone does. I understand why, its autoconvo but I’m not like everyone else. I love flare.

Tell me about your passion, what excites you and what you love. I don’t care about title, I don’t care where you studied or lived
I care about getting to know you


Think of this shift as changing a noun into a verb. Instead of giving people a title (i.e., a box to put you in), let them know what you enjoy doing—what you’re passionate about—and then discover what they enjoy. The conversation will morph into something far more interesting, and you’ll learn a lot more about each other than your silly job titles. – Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus


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The 5 I’s you should look for in people

May 6, 2016
Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.
Oprah Winfrey

Don’t surround yourself with people who don’t

  • Inspire
  • Influence
  • Impress
  • Interest
  • Indulge


Seriously, lately I’ve been socialising alot and I’ve been meeting new people. If somebody doesn’t do one of the above our connection soon dies out. People in my life need to have flair so I can learn new things or see thing from a total new point of view. By looking for those qualities in people you can kick the dead wood to the side and move forward.

This is valid for friendships, partnerships and relationships.



Learn From Andre 3000

April 11, 2016

Andre 3000

Where there is cheese there are rats,
Where ever there are rats there are cats,
Where ever there are cats there are dogs.
If you got the dogs you got bitches.
Bitches Always out to put their paws on your riches.
If you got riches,you got glitches.
If you got glitches in your life computer turn it off and then reboota.
Now you back on.
Can’t just put the cap on the old bottle once you pop it that will spoil it, gone and drink it and enjoy it.
– Track: Millionaire

Andre 3000 not only has great lyrics which teach us that there will be people and things trying to hold us back, yet we must still keep going. But he is also highly successful. Andrew 3000 is worth an estimated $50million. Through his music, acting, clothing line and more. What I like most about Andre 3000 is he has stayed low key from the public eye, he is living his life.


My Top 90s Hip-Hop Artists / Albums

April 11, 2016

While making this I realise that I couldn’t fit everyone in! There are about 100 more artists/albums that should be here. I can easily say that real Hip-Hop music is a piece of me. I grew up listening to Hip-Hop through my teenage years. I listened while I grew my business. I listened while I travelled the world. And I still listen. This might sound bizzare to you but real Hip-Hop has taught me alot of life skills.

Biggies lyric “Dam Right I Life The Life I Live Because I Went From Negative To Positive” represents my daily motto. The sexual undertones of Slum Village, the real/rawness from Lil Kim, the hype from Wu Tang, the great feeling from Camp Lo, the shivers I get from Common, the flow from Tribe………

Who ever said Hip-Hop music has a bad influence is deaf. Along with blues, real Hip-Hop is the realist music I’ve ever heard.



My Top Tracks On Each Album:
I like all tracks. This was so hard to decide.

Biggie, Ready To Die – Machine Gun Funk

Camp Lo, Uptown Saturday Night – Black Nostalijack AKA Come On

Das EFX – If only

ATCQ – God Lives Through Us

Wu Tang Clan – Protect Ya Neck

Slum Village – Climax

Lil Kim – Spend A Little Doe

Common – I Used To Love H.E.R

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I haven’t watched a movie in 3 years

April 9, 2016

It’s not you, its me.

  • I get bored
  • I feel guilty that I am wasting time
  • I feel unproductive
  • It doesn’t stimulate me
  • I don’t want to be influenced

The last time I really watched something was with my ex. We use to have cozy nights and snuggle up and watch stuff. Since then I’ve never watched anything. I don’t have a netflix account. I don’t even watch clips on youtube.

Not even the news…

Yes, I might be missing something that the media projects but I am willing to take the risk.

If we ever meet, don’t invite me to watch anything… 😉